This was originally written as an extra gift for my good friend C, who runs free-form LARP for his birthday every year. This one was a sort of model-UN in space gig, where a number of galactic representatives came together to write new legislation for a fictional planet, Vagga. This was my fake coverage of the event as a fictional blogger in the style of a sort of Gawker-esque piece. Enjoy.

Though I’ll admit I prefer my Meco coverage, last night’s Vagga-Zenith Convention was nearly as nail-biting and fierce as the season 78 UMC finale match between Giant Archimedes and Novel Antistrophe. Android delegates! A plot to murder! Relationship rumors abound! But let’s start with the most groundbreaking legislation passed at the convention last night.

The convention successfully managed to pass a significant pro-android Resolution at the table with historic unity. Though some android rights activists may scoff at the softened Resolution 4, I for one, as a meco journalist, am exceedingly pleased at the prospect of android pilots on the new nationalized San Seriffe UMC league. It came at the price of lifting tariffs on San Seriffe’s precious metals exports, but to have a larger android populace in the workforce is an historic step forward for android exposure. Along with stronger ties between Zenith Colony II’s water exports to Sans Seriffe and land charters on Zenith for both Equitorial Gliese and Sans Seriffe, these three countries managed to get their shit together enough for unity. I am intrigued by the prospect of these three continuing to work together (we’ll circle back to this later). As for Sans Seriffe’s ‘fast-track’ drug policy after Equitorial Gliese shot down their deregulation, what I’d like to know is what types of drugs they’re planning on making exceptions ‘for research’. We all know what happened to Gliese’s previous delegates, and I know there’s a new market for experimental psychedelic amines in low doses. We all know how well dosing addictive drugs at low amounts goes. The implications of that remain to be seen.

Uma Gandor also had a snapback at the end of the session after multiple infractions on speaking order to bring the convention together after five years, and introduce legislation allowing delegates to be dismissed for conduct. It seems like this resolution was directly aimed at Contrary Rhyolite and Disappointment 2.1. Though the delegates were split with several abstentions, the Resolution ultimately passed. So we’ll see how this drug deregulation ends up going and if Sans Seriffe manages to hold themselves together again.

Though it probably wasn’t the best for actual political discussion, as someone who adores Meco drama and pilots arguing over storylines (can we ever forget the snatch of the century from Scotty Brawn over Mercenary Krile’s attempted claim that he had ‘150% chance’ of winning over Brawn) I was so here for the shit show that was Sans Seriffe. First of all, Verena Corvid’s appearance in the delegates was an absolute delight. She was trying to swing android rights for increased tariffs, but ultimately the former Meco pilots Nocturne Key and Luck Santillan prevailed with the rewritten Resolution 4. Still not over her scandal of a few years prior, but her constituents don’t seem to care, and neither does her purse.

Speaking of the former Meco pilots, (and my readers know this) I have long suspected Luck Santillan and Nocturne Key to potentially be involved, but last night’s convention turned that on its head. We now have rumors about Luck and Solferino Heresy of Equatorial Gliese’s involvement. Now this is what I’m here for. I’ve been glued to their respective feeds, and though neither of them have made any sort of statement, I’ve seen several captures each of them has tagged the other in, and lots of reciprocal comments from the past few months. So do share in the comment section here your own unfounded theories, receipts and successful stalking efforts.

This is why I love covering Meco. Though Nocturne Key walked away with some nice political wins (at the cost of zeir mining exports, literally), zey did have to interact with the Rhyolites. Fans of my column know that I covered Key and Watch Rhyolite’s breakup from a few years prior. Though it seems the two of them managed to keep their shit together, Watch couldn’t keep ahold of their brother, Con, who seemed to mostly be doing whatever he felt like. I love it when delegations get a little spicy. And of course, though River Alcantara had a helping hand in drafting several of the Resolution amendments, I’m very curious how her little ploy on deregulation will end up hitting, especially given the relations she developed with Merricat. I’m always intrigued about the counsellor’s voting rights on Gliese compared with the Chancellor. I hope Penny Sevens and Firo Bias return. Firo especially seemed intent on staying in the shadows.

Now, onto the android drama. Equatorial Gliese turned some heads at the decision of bringing along Disappointment 2.1. I’m almost certain Merricat Last is doing some serious damage control after multiple open threats of violence from Disappointment at the table. Rumors say that it pulled multiple delegates aside for a plot to ‘remove’ Erik Martin from his position as head of Phoenix Works. I do think that the attitudes of some delegates that Ansel Anju should take over are well founded. Martin brought a former custodial android that was reprogrammed less than 24 hours before the convention as one of his representatives. And though [Field Left Blank] brought some really fiery points to the table on android rights and confirmed it successfully modified its own programming, ultimately the radical position was softened in an effort to increase android visibility and recoup some of San Seriffe’s economic losses. I’m curious to see if it continues its political trajectory after this. Whether or not Martin remains the head of Phoenix Works is also in question.

And that’s not even touching on the fits! There were some delectable designs on display at the convention last night. I’m including the spread of photographs available from Victory Lap Mag’s coverage. Once again, Corvid ate. I’m obsessed with her! Let me know in the comments whose fits you’re thirsty over, and I’ll send out a little poll on my feed when this article’s link drops. Stay shiny, readers, with this new legislation on the horizon, and as always, tag my handle with your most delicious and salacious tips.